I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
