I heard we made out
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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