I must be too annoying 4 u.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
