Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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