I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
