It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
