at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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