thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize