Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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