Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
