I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
You did what with his pubic hair?
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