Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize