There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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