You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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