Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Someone shattered a urinal.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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