Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
