I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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