I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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