This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
