And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
that is very illegal...i love you.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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