Non-Jews are for practice
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
