I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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