so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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