I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
