we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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