Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
