I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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