Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm like, not good at living.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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