when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
This is the high leading the old right now
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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