My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Mom said you looked used
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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