I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
