im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
