So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
