I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
