u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
