best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
