he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
