Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
