It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
