Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Randomize
