Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
