please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
