If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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