I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
