You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
