my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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