they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
