omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
