He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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