please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
