wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
