hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
