Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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