The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
