Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
