At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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