i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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