I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
