Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
