do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
