If i come over, it means nothing
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
