My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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