just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm too high and old for this...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
