if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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