I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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