I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
